Buddha Park, Nong Khai, Thailand

I am no longer in Laos! My 28 day visa expired and so I had to cross the border. I arrived in Nong Khai, Thailand and have been here for approximately a week. It started out as just a place to settle whilst I wait for my return to Laos, but I have really started to like this place. It’s quieter and less touristy than Vientiane and extremely chilled out. And not that I am a big fan of large corporations spreading their large corporation-ness all over the world but I could have dropped to my knees and shouted “hallelujah, praise the Lord!” when I saw a 7Eleven store as I entered Thailand. I’m not even religious, but this 7Eleven sure seemed like a miracle to me. Laos is the poorest of the South East Asian countries and is way less developed than Thailand, for example, which is a part of its charm really.

I have found during my travels that it’s great to move around to contrasting places every so often. The beach may sound like paradise for those of you working in an office right now, but I have lived at the beach for weeks at a time, and after a while you crave a little more from life. There’s only so much frisbee you can play before you start to question whether you should be doing something more productive with your time…it’s like an inner productivity demon crawling through your veins and infecting your mind, until you can take it no more and you must go and visit a temple for some culture, or write a blog post just to make yourself feel more ‘worthy’ and ‘purposeful’.

Nong Khai

So whilst in Vientiane, when I wasn’t swimming or lounging by a swimming pool, I spent many of my days editing and working on jobs on my laptop in cafes. Being here in Nong Khai feels a little more like a holiday. I have met some super cool people and have had a little time to do some sight seeing. Which leads me onto the subject of today’s post…

Buddha Park, Nong Khai

So I had already heard about the Buddha Park on the other side of the river in Vientiane, but was not aware that there is also one here in Nong Khai. Maybe they were having some kind of ‘Buddha Park-off’ to see which country could create the best park of Buddhas. I haven’t yet visited the Buddha Park in Vientiane so I can’t yet compare, but I think it will have a tough job to beat the random, crazy and yet awesome display of Buddhist (and Hindu) statues on the Thai side. Honestly, I expected some kind of cultural, religious display but came away feeling more like I had just visited some Buddhist theme park. It is almost like the artist was just having a laugh when he/she/they designed this place.

So what follows is a collection of random photos from the park with some ridiculous commentary…are you ready? Let’s do this!:

Buddha Park Nong Khai Entrance

The entrance to Buddha Park in Nong Khai, Thailand! I tried to pass as a baby to save myself 10 Baht by putting on a nappy/diaper, lying on the floor, pooing myself and screaming but for some reason they just called the police instead. Weird. Asian countries are so strange with their ‘laws’ and stuff.Buddha Park Nong Khai Many Buddhas

As you can see, there are lots of large Buddha statues in this place. With a name like ‘Buddha Park’, it’s probably no surprise!Buddha Park Nong Khai loads of statues

But not just Buddha statues…big serpents as well. Probably because the designer of this place got bored with all of the different Buddha statues. Most likely a rebel.Buddha Park Nong Khai Serpent Heads2

The aforementioned serpent statue with multiple heads behind Buddha. This is one Buddha you do not want to mess with.Buddha Park Nong Khai pull on my horse

You just can’t ride a horse these days without a horse tugger jumping out of the bushes and ruining the fun for everyone.
Buddha Park Nong Khai What a big fish

My fish is bigger than your fish.Buddha Park Nong Khai the trident threatener

Yo, DO NOT even attempt to look at my elephant. I WILL spear you with my trident bro!Buddha Park Nong Khai surf the man

Slave. Drop to the floor and be a surfboard. Immediately.Buddha Park Nong Khai Such a peaceful face

The most peaceful looking, yet creepy statue I have seen in a while.Buddha Park Nong Khai Statues in a row with decorations

You can tell which one is runnin’ tings round these parts by the amount of decoration on them and by the height of their hat. True story.
Buddha Park Nong Khai smack dat gong

I have a mallet that looks like a pumpkin on a stick and I am not afraid to use it. A friend I met here in Nong Khai about to bang the gong.

Buddha Park Nong Khai Shouting Man inside Shouting Statue

You can’t really tell from this photo, but there is a tiny Buddha statue inside Gabe’s mouth that is also screaming. It’s like Russian dolls. Inside that Buddha’s mouth is another Buddha and it goes on like that until you reach a single cell organism which doesn’t even have a mouth. And that’s where it all ends. Bit of an anti-climax to be honest.Buddha Park Nong Khai Smack Dat Biatch

“Did you or did you not throw away my collection of Lionel Richie cassette tapes?! Do not make me ask you again! And I don’t know why you’re smiling over there woman, you’re next”
Buddha Park Nong Khai sign here please sir

Hello Sir, I notice that you are wearing a diaper and are clearly a giant baby. If you could just sign here, I will reimburse you for that 10 Baht you are quite clearly owed.
Buddha Park Nong Khai shut up blob or i will beat you

“I said don’t make me angry blob! This is your last warning! Did you or did you not eat my collection of Lionel Richie cassette tapes? My wife swore on her death bed that it was you”Buddha Park Nong Khai Serpent Heads1

I feel safer in this place being guarded by Buddha and the snakes. Need to get one of these statues for my own garden. Not that I have a garden.Buddha Park Nong Khai rip off your head

I used to have a body. But then someone chopped it off. Now I am just a head. I’m not really sure how I am even able to speak right now; it must be witchcraft.Buddha Park Nong Khai riding many animals

In ancient times, your status depended on which animal you rode to work. The winner here is clearly the one that is riding the rock. Because to ride a rock, you gotta have skills. I mean ANYONE could ride a monkey to work, no sweat. Note to monkey rider: must try harder.Buddha Park Nong Khai pointing is rude

Pointing is rude. But not in ancient times. Nope, they didn’t even know what pointing was. She actually has a magnet fixed to the end of her finger which is being pulled towards the guy on the right’s chastity belt. True story.Buddha Park Nong Khai Monk banging gong

A monk in the temple banging the gong. I won’t make any jokes about this one because making jokes about monks is almost equivalent to murder in these parts.Buddha Park Nong Khai Many heads many arms

The traditional four-faced, multiple-armed statue that you see everywhere here in Asia. Right?Buddha Park Nong Khai man with bow and arrow on a bird

If I had the ability to ride a giant bird, then that is exactly how I would fire my bow and arrow too.
Buddha Park Nong Khai man with big sword with woman and baby

DO NOT mess with this man, his woman, or his baby…
Buddha Park Nong Khai baby statue

Or as we can tell from this close up of his baby, it is actually just a miniature regular-sized person in disguise. Those sneaky statues. That’s where I went wrong all along. He isn’t even wearing a diaper. I’ll take mine off now. In 10 minutes. Ok, maybe I’ll just keep it on for the rest of the day.

Buddha Park Nong Khai Man in suit with tie

That traditional Buddhist uniform – the suit and tie.Buddha Park Nong Khai Lunging Man Sitting Women

Yo women, don’t you dare laugh whilst I do my daily lunges or I’ll have to beat you like I beat that massive blob earlier!Buddha Park Nong Khai hunchback

I should probably be dead.

Buddha Park Nong Khai skeletons

This makes perfect sense.Buddha Park Nong Khai hold my snake

Can you please help me hold my massive snake?Buddha Park Nong Khai hanuman

Hanuman. That well known Buddhist God. Riiiiiggghhhttt….Buddha Park Nong Khai Ganesh on mouse

And if Hanuman is going to be thrown into the mix, let’s invite Ganesh along for the party too. Can he bring his rat? Hmmmm, depends how big it is…Buddha Park Nong Khai fish odd one out

One of these fish is the odd one out. Can you spot which one? The gold one you say? WRONG! It was the one second from left in the middle…he is the only fish that doesn’t smell like fish in this photo. You should try harder next time.
Buddha Park Nong Khai Dog on Scooter1

In ancient times, dog rode scooters….

Buddha Park Nong Khai dogs in car…and cars too. Get to know your ancient Buddhist facts right here to avoid you looking like a fool during your next debate about religion.
Buddha Park Nong Khai cheap haircut

The rat’s tail went out of fashion? I’d better get rid of this thing ASAP!Buddha Park Nong Khai buddhas lots of buddhas

Your fairly standard Buddhist temple scene.Buddha Park Nong Khai Big Laying Figure

One day this dude woke up and the spot on his chin had grown a face. How unfortunate.
Buddha Park Nong Khai big gun man

Buddha loves guns. Especially assault rifles and AK-47s. But he is not so keen on handguns. No, they are for pussies.Buddha Park Nong Khai Big Buddha Small Man

Who is that handsome man!? It’s Buddha you fools!

Buddha Park Nong Khai Pat and the Buddha

The first rule of Buddhism: Never turn your back on Buddha. Unless it’s for a cool photo.Buddha Park Nong Khai Begging the mans back

Excuse me Sir, but could you please stop moonwalking as you are about to knock over my bowl full of cabbage!Buddha Park Nong Khai banging the big gongWhen I bang the gong, I don’t mess about!

That’s enough lame jokes for today.

Patrick out…

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